


Best-Laid Plans

by hardboiledbaby



Category: Riptide (TV)
Genre: Community: smallfandomfest, First Time, M/M, Pre-Canon
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2011-05-28
Updated: 2011-05-28
Packaged: 2017-10-19 21:03:56
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,444
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/205183
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/hardboiledbaby/pseuds/hardboiledbaby
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Cody has a plan, a good, solid plan. But you know what they say about the best-laid plans....</p>
            </blockquote>





	Best-Laid Plans

**Author's Note:**

> Dedicated to Tinx_r, who never gave up hope that this story would see the light of day. My unending gratitude to Oddmonster, whose beta skills are legion. She made the story sizzle and pop; if it fizzles and plops anywhere, blame it on the muse for tinkering (a lot) after the fact.

It had seemed like a good idea at the time. A great one, in fact. Really.

Cody had given this plan a considerable amount of thought. He'd lain awake for hours, visualizing various scenarios, rehearsing what he would say, imagining how it would all go down.

He and Nick didn't have anything scheduled for the weekend, and the weatherman promised a picture-perfect summer day. Come Saturday morning, he’d casually suggest to Nick that they take the _Riptide_ out and get in some fishing, just the two of them. Nick might protest a little, maybe come up with a half-hearted objection or suggest some other activity involving female companionship, but Cody wasn’t worried. He had prepared several convincing counter-arguments in case those contingencies arose and, so long as he held his ground, he knew Nick would eventually give in. Cody was confident that he would get his way in the end.

He even had a place in mind, a secret cove he’d picked out beforehand, a few hours north of King Harbor. It wasn’t marked on any maps, it didn’t have a name; hell, it wasn’t even a true cove, just a little sliver of beach surrounded by craggy rocks. He was sure it was a secret, though. The ever-present PCH wended its way behind it somewhere, but the cars that traveled on it were out of sight and earshot. As far as he could tell, the secluded spot could only be seen from the air or the sea, and there was no easy way to reach it on foot. And picturesque though it was, the fishing there was lousy. The charter boats never stopped by. It would be perfect.

Warm sun, cold beer, and the peace and quiet of gentle lapping waves would relax them both. They’d enjoy each other’s company, as they always did.

A good, solid plan.

_How did it go, that saying about the best plans?_

_"The best-laid plans of mice and men often go awry." Right, that was it._

Yeah, his plans had gone awry, alright. Here they were, half the day was gone, and Cody had yet to muster up the courage to do what he’d set out to do, the whole reason for coming out here in the first place: to confess to his best friend that he was head over heels in love with him.

It had been so hard for Cody to wrap his head around: that after years of friendship, he could suddenly find Nick... desirable. No, not could; _did_. There was nothing theoretical about what he was feeling. And not in a general "my good-looking friend is good-looking" sort of way, either—he'd always thought that anyway—but desirable, sexy to _him_. Why he felt this way now, where it had come from, he hadn’t the foggiest idea. However, after weeks of confusion and denial he'd had to admit to himself that this wasn't a fluke or a passing fancy.

He wanted to come clean to Nick; meant to, in fact—that was the objective of this mission, what he had been building up to all morning. But now that the moment was here, he couldn't bring himself to say the words aloud. He cursed himself for all kinds of a fool, but it made no difference. His fear of what might happen if Nick couldn't accept the change held him back. Never mind the adage about best-laid plans, he was more worried about Murphy's Law: anything that can go wrong, will.

This was a something that could go majorly, irrevocably wrong.

After a few hours of fishless fishing and a lunch of sandwiches and chips, Nick stretched out for a nap. Cody sat next to him, same as always, but with an awareness that he had never experienced before, as if his senses were somehow elevated to a new level. Nick's face was innocent in sleep, at odds with the provocative invitation of his open shirt flapping lightly in the breeze. Cody groaned softly in frustration. It was as though Nick was deliberately trying to torment him. And he wasn't even doing anything.

Nick’s lashes twitched. Cody winced, he must've been louder than he thought. He suddenly realized he was leaning in, hovering too close, and hastily sat back.

"Sorry, fell asleep on you. Did you catch anything?" Nick asked sleepily.

_Don't I wish._

"No. Not yet, pal."

Nick frowned, apparently picking up on the edge in Cody’s voice even in his fuzzy half-asleep state. He sat up and looked around, searching for a threat from without, but there was nothing to cause alarm. As Cody knew when he cooked up his mousy little plan, there was nothing and no one around, period. They might have been the last two people on the planet.

Nick turned back around and eyed Cody speculatively. Cody forced a smile while mentally back-pedaling. _No! Not now, I’m not ready, not yet._

Nick stretched, got up, and knelt down to peer in the cooler, as though there might possibly be anything other than beer and ice inside. This put him squarely at Cody’s feet. He looked up into Cody’s face, and Cody had to squelch the sudden impulse to squirm under the scrutiny like a naughty child.

"Hey, you okay? Something bothering you?"

"Huh? No, of course not." Cody evaded Nick's questions and his concerned eyes both. "Gee, it's getting late. We should be heading back." He stood abruptly, and hurriedly went to raise anchor and get underway.

He pretended not to notice the disbelieving look Nick was giving to the sun, still high overhead. Not easy to do, especially when Nick turned that look on him with a clearly audible "What the hell?" but he kept his head down and his hands busy and tried to appear completely oblivious.

He could do oblivious.

To Cody’s relief, Nick didn’t follow him. Out of the corner of his eye, Cody watched as Nick took a can of beer out of the cooler and pressed it to his forehead for a moment, before popping the top and taking a long swig.

When Nick lowered the beer, though, Cody could see a contemplative frown on his friend’s face, and his relief evaporated. He knew that expression, only too well. It was the one left over from their MP days, the stubborn, dog-with-a-bone one that declared, "Something hinky is going on around here. I don’t know what it is yet, but I am gonna find out."

_Oh, shit._

  


#####

  


"Hey, wait up!"

Nick's voice was loud and irritated, but Cody didn't break stride, walking as swiftly as he could without actually running as he made a beeline for the boat.

By the time Nick got on board, Cody was sitting in the salon, fully engrossed in his junk mail. If Ed McMahon was, in fact, on his way over with a million bucks—and who's to say he wasn't?—Cody was damn well going to be prepared.

"What was that all about?" Nick snapped.

Cody snuck a peek at Nick as he flipped a page. Nick was standing there, arms crossed and eyes narrowed, waiting. Not very patiently, either.

It was about the curvaceous redhead in a green halter top and denim mini skirt they saw on their way back from dinner at Straightaway's. Nick had paused to admire the view, his appreciative gaze following the girl even after she'd walked past. Cody had to admit the girl in question was deserving of appreciation—boy, was she _ever_. A statuesque knockout, she was totally deserving... but that didn't make Cody feel any better about Nick's lingering look and good-natured smirk, nor did it stop the bitter taste of jealousy from filling his mouth. Rather than watch, Cody had left Nick standing there alone. He hadn't even bothered to turn around when Nick called his name.

"What?" Cody said, as evenly as he could. "You mean the woman you were drooling over?"

Nick blinked and frowned. "I was not _drooling_ , geez. And she liked the attention well enough, you know. In fact, I think she had her eye on you, buddy. But lately you haven't seemed interested. You running a fever or something?" He put his hand on Cody's forehead.

Cody knew it was a joke, but Nick's touch sent a jolt through him, a painful yearning to grab the hand and kiss it, then pull Nick into his arms and—

He knocked Nick's hand away, hard. Nick's eyes widened and he gaped as Cody threw down the mail and stood up. "Grow up, Nick. I just didn't want to leer after _her_ , all right? I'm going to bed."

"Bed? Now? Are you serious? It's still light out!"

Cody mumbled something about being tired and getting an early start tomorrow and went into the head. He closed the door, then sagged against it, suddenly as exhausted as he'd claimed to be.

Lying to his partner took a lot out of him.

He knew his behavior over the past couple of weeks was baffling Nick; damn it, it was baffling to himself. What Nick had done hadn't been out of line or even out of the ordinary. Whenever a nice-looking woman came up on their radar, they looked. Sure, sometimes they did more than look, depending on the circumstances, or the woman. But not every time. As often as not it was simply a visual assessment, with commentary in the form of a raised eyebrow, a grin, or a nudge to the ribs. But they did always look, both of them. It was their thing. Or used to be....

Scratch that. It was still Nick's thing. Nick was still Nick. Cody was the one that wasn't the same anymore, and that scared the crap out of him.

Not that Cody had lost his appreciation for the female form. No, not in the least. But seeing Nick eyeball the girl like she was a Philly cheese steak sandwich made Cody realize that (1) he didn't want to do that particular kind of looking anymore and (2) he didn't want Nick to do it, either. Unless Nick was aiming that look at him. Yeah. _He_ wanted to be the sandwich. Hell, he wanted to be breakfast, lunch, and dinner, all of it.

And it was beginning to look like he was never going to be on the menu.

  


#####

  


Cody scanned the horizon automatically, squinting against the glare of the sun's rays off the water. The open ocean, usually so soothing and peaceful, seemed to be full of questions and uncertainties, surrounding and pressing on him like the waves lapping against the hull, gentle but insistent and unending.

_Can't run, can't hide. Time to face the music, Allen._

In the weeks since his aborted attempt to woo Nick, things had pretty much gone from bad, right past worse, all the way up to clusterfuck status. Desperately determined to maintain his secret, Cody had struggled to keep his emotions and physical responses in check, but it was a battle lost from the start. Living on a boat the size of the _Riptide_ meant that the two of them were in close proximity nearly all of the time. Casual touching and bumping in such tight quarters was unavoidable. In and of itself, this wasn't a problem. College frat houses and Army barracks were similarly crowded, and that had never particularly bothered Cody before… or excited him, for that matter. Hell, he'd shared tents and bunkers with Nick before too, and hadn't felt this way. Of course, they were usually otherwise occupied with being either scared shitless or dead tired at the time, so maybe that didn't count.

But now, Nick up close and personal meant the feel of his muscular form when they brushed past each other on the stairs. The smell of him as he came out of the head, his skin still warm and damp from the shower. The flash of his grin and his throaty laugh as they worked in the galley, shoulder to shoulder. Standing that close together, Cody could actually feel Nick's energy running just below the surface, humming and vibrating. It almost crackled when their elbows bumped, leaping on to Cody like a live wire and making his skin tingle. Along his arm, up to his scalp, and down to his….

 _Oh, hell. Not again._ Cody groaned, and tried to tell his dick to stand down.

And this was another part of his problem, rearing its... yeah. A _big_ problem, no joke. Simply thinking about Nick could make him throw a rod, that's how far gone he was. The situation was infinitely worse when Nick was right within reach, in the flesh... so to speak.

It had gotten so he had to distance himself—physically, insofar as it was possible, but also emotionally. He kept conversations brusque and impersonal, avoided them altogether when he could. That helped with his problem a little, but it couldn't last forever. Shutting Nick out went against every instinct he had, and made it painfully obvious that there was something wrong between them, even if Nick didn't know exactly what.

So far, Nick's reaction to the situation was pretty much what Cody expected: he'd been confused, then worried. Now he was at irritated, and royally pissed was coming up fast, right around the corner.

If only Nick showed some kind of sign that maybe he felt something of what Cody did. Then maybe Cody could take that leap, and maybe it would all work out for them. Maybe. Too many fucking maybes. He was sick to death of them.

Nick wasn't going to wait forever for an explanation. Sooner or later, he would demand to know, in no uncertain terms, why Cody was acting like an asshole. Cody still wasn't sure how he could dare risk the truth, but he knew nothing less was going to satisfy his best friend.

Cody looked back toward land. Beyond the sailboats cruising the harbor, he could just make out the pier. Nick had stormed off in a black mood a couple of hours ago, and Cody wondered if he had cooled off, at least a little. He hoped so, but ultimately it didn't really matter. Cody turned the boat around and headed in. He hadn't found the answers like he thought he would, out here where the water usually spoke to him. He realized now where the answers were.

  


#####

  


Cody gave the situation careful consideration on his way back into the harbor. He chose the words he needed to say to Nick, the right words, the ones that would finally reveal what was in his heart: words of confession, apology, of declaration. He ran them through his head, over and over until he was sure. He was so very sure, as he walked on the pathway towards Straightaway's. He was positive, in fact. Right up until the moment he saw Nick, sitting in the corner. Then all his convictions evaporated, this latest Mickey Mouse plan went awry on him and it was all he could do not to turn tail and run. From somewhere, he dug up the wherewithal to plaster on a semblance of a happy face as he sat down across from his friend.

Nick's expression was stormy and his body was tense, and Cody steeled himself for the inevitable barrage of questions—asking him where the hell had he been, what made him up and take off without so much as a word, what the fuck was the matter with him, what had been the matter with him for days now, and just what in the name of all that was holy was going on, goddamnit.

Then Nick opened his mouth and Cody's world tipped over and dropped out from under him.

"So, I was thinking, maybe it's time for me to move out, get my own place...."

He sat in shocked silence as Nick kept talking, not comprehending anything except that first sentence.

_Move out. Away from me. Leaving me._

_This must be some kind of cosmic punishment_ , Cody thought through the haze. _Nick's gonna go away 'cause I didn't have the guts to tell him how I feel. Or, maybe—_

_Maybe he knows, and can't handle it. Doesn't want it. Oh, god._

Cody's hand shot out and grabbed Nick's arm. Nick stopped talking and looked at Cody; looked at him square for the first time, Cody realized, since he'd entered the restaurant. He searched those eyes he knew so well, almost afraid of what he would see there, but he had to know.

No disgust, or revulsion. Not even anger. There was pain, though, and worry. And love.

Cody blew out a shaky breath and closed his eyes. Instantly, Nick's hand was gripping his.

"Hey, what’s the matter? You okay? What's wrong?"

The epic relief that washed through Cody was immediately replaced by indignation of equally monumental proportions.

"'What's wrong?' Are you kidding? You think you can just up and leave, that's what's wrong! But you can't, damn it, I won't let you, do you hear me?"

"Geez, yeah, I hear you. So did everyone else in King Harbor."

Suddenly, Cody realized that every eye in the restaurant was turned on them. Embarrassed, he released his grip, and Nick let go of his hand. _Great. Step right up folks, and see the floor show. Free admission._ He felt his face flame, and wished for a handy rock to crawl under.

Nick threw a couple of bills down on the table and stood up. "We can't talk about this here. Let's go."

Cody didn't say anything as Nick dragged him out and away. He was too busy trying to rearrange the thoughts whirling through his brain. He wasn't paying attention when Nick pushed him into the 'Vette, and they were several miles out of town before he even realized they had left the harbor.

"Wh-where are we going?" he asked tentatively.

"I don't know," came the flat reply. Nick kept his eyes on the road and didn't look at him, not once. "Where _are_ we going, Cody?"

Cody's jaw dropped, but words wouldn't come. Nick's whole body was taut, muscles bunched with tension. Cody wanted to touch him, impart some reassurance, but didn't dare. Instead, he turned and stared out at the sparkling waves with an intense fascination that was, for the first time in his life, totally faked.

They travelled south for a while, a couple of hours at least. Neither man said more than the bare minimum, until finally with a muffled curse and a sudden jerk of the wheel, Nick pulled over to the curb. He got out and stomped away almost before the car had come to a complete halt. Cody looked around as he hurried to catch up.

They were in Carlsbad—Cody recognized the marina in front of them. He and Nick had come down here a few months ago and hooked up with those would-be models, uh....

_Wait. What were their names?_

For the life of him, Cody couldn't recall. A pair of pretty, fun-loving women, and he hadn't given them a moment's thought since they'd parted ways the following morning.

What he did remember happened after the girls had left—the two of them had just sat around, relaxing and shooting the breeze. They hadn't even done anything special, they'd been content to simply be in the other's company.

No, more than content, Cody realized. He'd been happy, truly happy. Happy to be alone with Nick. Happy _because_ he was alone with Nick.

_Was that when it all started?_

Maybe. Or maybe these feelings he had for Nick had always been there. Heaven knows, they'd always had a special bond. The two of them had been tight practically since day one, back in Vietnam all those years ago. If that was the case, if this was love grown beyond the friendship and not some crazy-weird sex thing—

"Hey, move it!" A car horn blared.

With a start, Cody realized he'd been standing stock still. He spun around to see a blue sedan directly behind him, its driver ready to lean on the horn again.

Standing stock still _in the middle of the parking lot_. Great. Cody hastily scrambled out of the way. The driver shot him a disgusted look as he drove past. Cody shook his head to clear it, or tried to, and searched for Nick.

There was a strip mall fronting the marina with a small landscaped area next to it, a kind of mini-park with a couple of benches, not far from the water. Nick was standing there alone, leaning against the wooden railing that circled the park, staring out over the ocean.

When Cody got there, he stood behind Nick, waiting. A long minute passed before Nick turned to face him. His expression was wary, and Cody's mouth went dry.

"Something's happening here, Cody, to us. Tell me..." he paused, then, "I'm not imagining things, am I?"

This was it, then. Cody dropped all his defenses and gave Nick the whole package, letting everything he was feeling inside show. Nick drew in a sharp breath.

"No, Nick, you're not imagining things," Cody said huskily. "I—I didn't mean for this to happen. It's not like I didn't love you before, you know? I don't know why it's different now. I guess I can't blame you for wanting to leave. But—"

"What? No, wait! Just wait a minute!" Nick’s hand came up to pinch the bridge of his nose. "Did you just say you love me?"

Cody nodded dumbly.

"As in you _love_ love me?"

Cody nodded again and dropped his eyes. His gut churned painfully, the roll of acid leaving him sick and shaky. He swallowed painfully, whispered "I'm sorry," and waited for his world to come crashing down.

"Stop it!" Nick said suddenly, grabbing Cody's arms tightly. Cody flinched, and immediately Nick's hands eased their grip, although he didn't let go. "No, I didn't mean... Don't say you're sorry! God, Cody. Don't you know there ain't nothing or no one more important in this world to me than you? I... I love you, too."

Funny, it sounded like Nick was saying he _loved_ loved Cody. That couldn't possibly be right, could it?

A mixture of fear and hope drew Cody's gaze back up to Nick's face, and what he saw there—

Nick's heart was in his eyes, that fiery, passionate heart. The biggest heart Cody knew, and it was all there for him.

_Love. So much love._

"You... I... uh... really?" Cody was babbling, he couldn't help it.

"Yeah, babe. Me, you. Really."

"But... but you were going to leave!" Cody blurted out.

"Huh? Oh. That." Nick ducked his head, but not before Cody caught his lips twitching into a smile.

"What's so funny?" Cody said, a little peeved.

"Me, that's what. I thought—" Nick paused and gestured to the nearby bench. "This might take a while."

They sat. Nick turned toward Cody, pulling up a leg so that his knee was touching Cody's thigh. In the pocket of space between their bodies, Nick laid his hand on the seat, palm up. Cody, heart pounding, slipped his hand into Nick's. For a time they stayed that way, listening to the murmur of the Pacific with the late afternoon sun warm on their faces, bathing them in golden yellow light. Finally, Nick spoke.

"You want to hear a story? Once upon a time, there was a handsome prince. He had a friend, his best friend in the whole world, and one day this friend started acting really strange." There was a mildly sardonic undertone to his words.

Playing along, Cody asked, "This best friend, was he a prince too?"

"Nah, he was a... a stable boy." Nick arched a brow as Cody snorted. "Hey, I'm tellin' the story, here. No interruptions," he said sternly, but his eyes twinkled and he squeezed Cody's hand. "Now where was I? Oh, yeah. The stable boy. Like I said, he was acting strange. Jumpy and nervous. And doing weird things, like taking the handsome prince fishing where there wasn't any fish, or getting all pissy when the prince was checking out the, uh, the ladies-in-waiting.

"The prince tried to find out what was happening in that pretty-boy head—"

"Hey!"

"—but nothing doing. He waited patiently—"

"'Patiently'?"

"Shut up. He waited patiently for the stable boy to come clean or maybe for the whole thing to blow over, but as the days passed, the situation just seemed to get worse. The prince was getting a little ticked off... and maybe a little hurt. It felt like he was losing his best friend and he didn't know what he did."

Cody opened his mouth to say that the, uh, _prince_ hadn't done anything, but a pointed glare made him shut it again.

"To be honest," Nick continued, more slowly, "he thought he knew pretty much everything about the stable boy. Having his nose rubbed into the fact that he didn't... it scared him."

_Oh, babe._

"Then the prince hit upon the only answer that made sense: his best friend in the whole world had lost his heart to a fair damsel." Nick's eyes dropped, but not before Cody saw them darken.

" _What?_ Y-you thought I—" Cody took a deep breath to steady himself. "Give it to me straight, Nick. No more fairy tales."

Nick took a deep breath of his own. "I thought you'd fallen in love with some girl, and you didn't know how to tell me. I realized I didn't want to stand by and watch that happen." He looked up. "And I realized I'd fallen in love with you...."

  


#####

  


Nick had driven aimlessly up the coast, he told Cody, blasting the radio in an attempt to drown out his thoughts. It hadn't worked. Finally, he pulled into an empty parking stall at a scenic lookout and killed the engine. The light offshore breeze was soothing and he closed his eyes.

_Cody's in love._

At first, the realization had hit Nick like a ton of bricks, and he'd tried to reject it. But the insidious idea refused to go away, haunting his waking hours and invading his dreams. He'd finally admitted to himself that it was the only explanation for the odd behavior: the goofy expression on Cody's face when he thought no one was looking, the duck and dodge he pulled every time Nick tried to question him, his refusal to date or even look at other girls. It all fit.

Funny, with all the women that came and went, it never occurred to him that Cody might fall hard for just one. The One. After Janet, he was sure Cody never intended to get that involved again. But this morning when he'd tested the waters, Cody nervously refused to say anything. He just looked at Nick with eyes both guilty and wounded. Nick got fed up and left.

Of course, chicks liked his good-looking friend, and while most of them only wanted fun times, a few had tried to set their matrimonial sights on the eligible Mr. Allen before. And why not, Nick had to admit. Cody was anyone's idea of a great catch. Tall, broad, easy-going, and with a killer smile, Cody had patented moves that would make almost any woman putty in his hands. Nick could see those hands now: Strong, yet gentle, touching, holding, stroking…. _Me. Touching me._

An ache in his groin brought him up short, and his eyes snapped open. _What the hell?_

He rubbed his face, and tried to stop his heart from racing, to stop replaying the image of Cody's hands on his body, but that wasn't working either. He pressed his forehead against the steering wheel with a groan.

This could not possibly be happening. And yet it was.

_I do not fucking believe this. I want Cody. My best friend._

_My best friend, who's maybe found the love of his life. Shit. What am I going to do?_

Nick sat there for a long time.

 

On the way back, Nick wondered who the lucky girl was. Cody hadn't singled out a particular date for special attention, as far as Nick could recall, and he was pretty sure he would have noticed something like that. It didn't make any sense... unless Cody meant to keep it a secret from the get-go.

Could he have actually believed that Nick would stand in the way of his happiness?

_No. No way._

Nick pushed the appalling thought aside. Sure, the two of them could get competitive about lots of things, including women. But when the chips were down, they had each other's back, no question.

No, the more likely scenario was that Cody didn't quite know how to tell him that he'd have to move off of the boat. After all, living together aboard the _Riptide_ had been at Cody's idea in the first place. Nick had let Cody talk him into it without too much protest, because really, he liked sharing digs with his friend—even if he wasn't all that keen about those digs bouncing around on the water. Still, it had been Cody's great plan, and now, only a few months after the fact, that plan was shot to hell.

Were they already engaged, he wondered, or did they plan on living together first? Whatever the case was, he was going to have to find someplace else to live. He couldn't possibly stay on, under the circumstances.

_Cody probably feels guilty, the big dummy. Guess I'd better make the first move._

But when Nick got back to Pier 56, the slip was empty. He scanned the ocean, filled with an array of colorful sails and shiny yachts, but couldn't spot the _Riptide_.

"Damn it, now what?" he muttered under his breath.

In light of what he'd figured out and the scene they'd had earlier, he wasn't really surprised that Cody had taken off, but now that he had made up his mind about what he was going to do, Nick was anxious to get it over with already. Fast, all at once, like ripping out a Band-Aid.

Sure, ripping out his heart was going to be exactly like ripping out a Band-Aid.

Nick set his jaw and went to Straightaway's to wait.

As he sat in the restaurant nursing a beer, Nick thought about the bond he and Cody shared, forged and tempered by the hellfire that was Vietnam. He'd take a bullet for the guy without a second's thought. Funny, he'd never have thought it would be harder to give up his heart than give up his life.

Then Cody walked in with the sorriest excuse for a smile Nick had ever seen, and Nick knew he had to take the bullet.

 

Nick felt the rough, splintery wood dig into his palms, but he couldn't seem to relax his grip on the railing. Out of the corner of his eye, he could see Cody coming toward him almost warily, and Nick felt a moment's regret for how badly he was handling things. But after Cody's outburst, all he could think of was to get out of Straightaway's; then, once on the road, he couldn't seem to stop driving. But he should have known: he could drive to Mexico and beyond, he'd never be able to outrun what he was feeling. Cody's angry words had confused him, but it was a good confusion, mixed up with something that felt like hope. He'd tried to sort it all out, but it was no use. Cody's solid presence, so real, so close, wasn't helping either.

Finally, he decided that enough was enough. He stopped the car and started walking. His feet led him here, and his heart told him to make his stand. No more beating around the bush, no more bullshit. Right here, right now.

  


#####

  


"Guess we were more in sync than we realized," Nick finished wryly. He reached out and gripped Cody's shoulder firmly. Cody's heart went into overdrive.

 _Was it really that simple?_ It couldn’t possibly be, but if Nick thought it was, there was no way that Cody was going to try and convince him otherwise.

Still, he had to ask. Cody put his hand on top of Nick's and squeezed.

"Nick, are you sure about this? I mean, I’ve never... and you haven’t... that is... have you?" he finished weakly.

"Cody, man, I love you. Always have, you know that. We’ve been through a lot together, right? Maybe we weren’t expecting this kind of love, but that's the way life is, messy and unplanned..."

_No kidding._

"The way I see it, if we both feel this way, that’s... shit, Cody, that’s, it’s..." Nick’s voice roughened, and Cody was amazed to see a suspicious shine in his eyes before he blinked and looked away.

"It’s everything, babe."

Cody felt his throat tighten up as well, and he blinked rapidly a few times himself.

"And I’m not gonna throw everything away."

Cody threw his arms around Nick and hugged him hard. Nick hugged him back just as hard, and Cody felt Nick's mouth brush lightly against his ear and his cheek.

It wasn't until much later that Cody would realize Nick hadn’t actually said that he _hadn’t_ , and that gave him pause... for all of maybe two and a half seconds. Even if Nick had, that was in the past. The past didn’t matter. Cody wasn’t about to throw away everything, either.

"Let's go back home, Nick," Cody said now, anxious for some privacy. "Damn, why'd you drive us all the way down here, anyway?"

Nick gave a small rueful chuckle and shrugged. "It's okay. It was a long trip, but now I know where we're going. It was worth it."

Cody really couldn't argue the point.

  


#####

  


"That was amazing," Cody murmured, his eyes closed.

There was a soft snort, then, "Liar."

Cody kept his eyes shut and didn't respond. Fingers were carding through his hair, brushing the sweat-dampened strands away from his forehead. The fingers were massaging his scalp lightly, and the firm but gentle touch felt good, Nick touching him felt so good....

The drive back had been as quiet as the trip out, but for completely different reasons. Oh, they talked a little—about what, Cody couldn't remember now—but as the miles fell away behind them, the words had faltered and dried up. He couldn't think, he could only feel....

Feel Nick's arm draped across his shoulder, or Nick's hand brushing his arm, sometimes resting on his knee. Casual, affectionate touches, no more intimate than any they’d shared before, but now those touches were infused with desire, and that electrifying knowledge sent sparks dancing all through Cody. By the way Nick's breath hitched when Cody touched him, he knew Nick felt it too. A lover's caress.

It was overwhelming. Cody thought his brain would shut down, high on Nick, swamped by the sensory overload.

It didn't help that it was taking forever to get back. A five-car pile-up on the highway snarled traffic, slowing them down to a ridiculous crawl for miles. Even a necessary stop for gas was an exercise in frustration. The anticipation was killing him.

_C'mon, c'mon._

Sunset had come and gone, and it was dark by the time they reached King Harbor. Cody was never so glad to see the lights that illuminated the Pier 56 sign, pointing the way home.

_Finally._

The walk to the _Riptide_ —okay, it was more of a half-stumble, half-run—had never seemed so long, but then they were there, they were home. They fell into the stateroom....

into the cabin stumbling kissing clothes too much _get it off_ in the way so many buttons clumsy and _okay here wait_ tentative zippers and pants tangled up in the _take off the shoes first_ fumbling hesitant and _oh god hurry_ bumping push _ow_ uncoordinated awkward _sorry sorry_ want panting and _for fuck's sake_ shaking and _what are you_ grab shove _bed the bed_ move turn _I gotcha_ tumble fall _babe_ —

"Liar. It was good, but let’s face it, not exactly the best sex ever."

Cody sighed, finally, and opened his eyes. Nick was on his side, his head propped up on one hand, looking down at Cody. Cody gazed up at Nick, who returned the reproachful look with a knowing one, his lips quirked, one eyebrow raised.

"Okay, so maybe not exactly _amazing_ ," Cody conceded, albeit a little grudgingly. It had all been over too damn quick, for one thing. He'd been on a hair trigger for too long, and apparently, so had Nick. They hadn't been able to find a rhythm, either; zigging and zagging gracelessly as their needy cocks bumped and rubbed together frantically, demanding release. It had been rough and rushed, exciting but a little scary, and when he came, it wasn’t what you’d call a mind-blowing orgasmic experience. It had been more like a sneeze, actually.

"Not even the best first-time sex, either, was it? C’mon, admit it."

 _Way to kill a mood, Ryder._ "Fine," Cody huffed, "I admit it, but—"

A thumb pressing firmly on his lips interrupted him.

"But..."

The thumb began to move slowly, back and forth over Cody's mustache, sending ticklish stirrings down nerve endings that had no business being stirred, not this soon. His heartbeat, which had just slowed down to normal, began to ramp up again.

"But, it was _our_ first-time sex, and that made it pretty damn great." Nick smiled, sweet this time, sweet and hot and sexy as hell. "Anyway, it can only get better, right? With practice. Lots and lots of practice." His eyes, dark and intent, were on Cody's lips, where his fingers were moving, teasing, coaxing....

Cody just watched him, mesmerized.

The rest of the world blurred and faded away, only Nick was in focus, sharp and clear. Every detail of his face, his expression, the smoldering heat in his eyes, the love—it was all there for Cody to see. All there for him.

Then their mouths met, they were kissing, like before but different, slower and deliberate, giving and demanding, sharing breath, offering life. They delved in and drank deep, over and over, but it was a thirst that could not be slaked. More, always wanting more. Skin on skin, an all-over touching that was new and yet so familiar, so right. Because it was still them, together.

 _Lots and lots of practice._ Cody liked the sound of that. Practice makes perfect, after all. And they had the time. The rest of their lives.

"Yeah, Nick, sounds like a plan."

**Author's Note:**

> Written to the prompt "Cody, don't you know there ain't nothin' or no one more important in this world to me, than you"


End file.
